Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
