This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
