Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
