some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm really busy with my period
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