He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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