so explain again why im purple
no
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
