You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I forget how to act sober
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