I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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