good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
