her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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