If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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