there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
