im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
