brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think my tv is drunk
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
