Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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