If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You dont lie about slip and slides
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
