I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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