she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
