dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Ketchup is God's man juice
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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