new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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