You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
