yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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