Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
no, he came in my armpit
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
