don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
