how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
