she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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