so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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