we made out on top of his cat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
