Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
