At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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