I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How's work?
Spinning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
