This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
