In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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