the condom got lost in my hair
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
