Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
