Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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