Im at strip club and am horny
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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