My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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