we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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