Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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