I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
