is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
