Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The power of my boobs compel you
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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