The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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