She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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