2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i've created a new STD.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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