so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
