yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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