I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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