Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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