I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
