please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
